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    Friday, October 28, 2005

    The “Celebrity” Also-Ran List

    Here’s a list of who else was in the running to be one of our country’s Official Top 10 “Celebrity” Games Journalists, and why they didn’t make it into the chart.

    Julian “Jaz” Rignall

    A gaming legend for sure, Jaz is fondly remembered by late-twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings for applying his mullet of truth to Mean Machines. He didn’t make it into the Top 10 because he’s not only emigrated, but his celebrity status is limited to the old guard. There’s a great interview with him on Dave Perry’s site, where he reveals what he’s getting up to now. He would have been number 9 if The TriForce only took one position.

    Violet Berlin

    The CITV presenter who used to front Bad Influence with Andy Crane, Violet came perilously close to entering the Top 10 because of her involvement with Bravo’s GamePad. But that got axed ages ago, and she’s not done anything to do with gaming since. We’re not even sure whether she genuinely knows about games, or just unwittingly got handed the “female games presenter” badge. She scores kudos for being married to Gaz Top (or Gareth Jones, as his mother knows him). She (Violet, not Gaz Top’s mum) would have been number 10.

    Gary Penn

    He was well known in his time, but we don’t think he’s retained his “celebrity” status to the point that he’d make it into the Top 10. Having a column in Edge isn’t anything to brag about. Close, but not close enough.

    Charlie Brooker

    Although he’s a “celebrity” writer now, being involved with stuff like Brass Eye and TVGoHome, he wasn’t a “celebrity” games journalist when working for PC Zone. Little more than a mildly renowned games journalist at the time, he doesn’t qualify.

    Iain Lee

    A bona fide TV celebrity and comedian, but a games journalist? He may have co-presented Thumb Bandits (and did a much better job of it than Krotoski), but he can’t be called a games journalist. Writing a column for an Xbox360 mag doesn’t count in his favour either, as that’s just a gimmick.

    Tony Mott

    An association with Edge doesn’t automatically make you a “celebrity” games journalist, you know. And he thinks he’s an Ibiza DJ.

    Daniel Emery

    Famous, or infamous? No comment.

    The RAM Raider

    Gillen predicted RR would be taking the top-spot, but that would be wrong, as we weren’t well known enough when we put the Top 10 together. Maybe we’ll be in the charts when we update them, as RR is in talks to have his rants published in a mag.

    David Gibbon

    The ex-helmer of Ceefax’s games pages, Gibbon is renowned for his scathing criticisms of shit games, then giving them 7/10. We miss him, but he ain’t famous.

    Alex Verrey aka Big Boy Barry

    A fat guy who was in GamesWorld for a bit, and in some innuendo-filled nonsense called Barry’s JoyPad. He’s turned to the dark side now (PR).

    Ben The Boffin

    The four-eyed nerd kid who used to do the game reviews for The Big Breakfast, but always had his bit cut short by four-eyed cunt adult Chris Evans talking about himself. If anyone knows where he is now, let us know. He probably died of embarrassment in the mid 90’s.

    The Other Women From Bits

    Not so much “also-ran”, as “shot before the race begun”.

    Anyone Else We’ve Forgotten

    Obviously couldn’t have been that famous.

    Look out for the responses from our “celebrity” journalists over the next week or two, which we’ll be posting in the order we receive them.


    1. I'll tell you, I, for one, cannot wait to see the DESPICABLE stationary habits of the games industry NAMED AND SHAMED in this mysterious forthcoming magazine column.

      The service you have provided is invaluable, Dan. With Future now closing down, and Imagine and Highbury long dead, their CEOs weeping in their baths, muttering your name, too weak to shake a fist... It's sometimes hard to see what more you have left to do.

      But in case you're short, I'll give you a tip-off. The other day I saw a mug of tea on Ross Atheron's desk, just gone cold. Seriously. He made the tea, at the games industry's expense, and then didn't even drink it. I don't know who he thinks he is, Mr Lord-Leaves-Tea, but it's exactly this sort of debauched madness that only YOU can stop.

      All power to you sir.

    2. Anonymous8:48 pm

      What about the kid who did the games on live and kicking?

    3. Anonymous9:58 am

      You mean Adem Ay? He posts on rllmuk.

    4. Anonymous1:37 pm

      Does he? What's his username?

    5. Anonymous3:18 pm

      barkbat I think.

    6. Anonymous1:29 pm

      I know where Ben the nerdy Boffin is, He has knocked up my bosses daughter He's not dead he's procreating like a duracell bunny down in Brighton I will keep you posted about the mini bens soon to be gracing the earth. Oh doe's anyone have any pictures of him coz if not I'm gonna find you some. Poor Bastard

    7. Anonymous12:29 pm

      it would be great to get in contact with him - he must have a website!