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    Monday, October 17, 2005

    Number 3: Gary Cutlack aka Cmdr Zorg

    For a rundown of the industry’s most “famous” people, Gary Cutlack probably tops the poll of names least likely to be recognised. A staff writer for Future Publishing, his CV couldn't be described as auspicious. The list of magazines he’s written for don’t make for interesting reading, unless you count the new Official Xbox360 rag that we’ve already had a go at.

    But under the guise of Cmdr Zorg, Cutlack is the mastermind behind the country’s funniest games blog, UK:Resistance. Updated almost daily, we wonder how he manages to squeeze in writing for the mags he works on, but putting together an independent comedy site on Future’s time makes it even more satisfying.

    Always ready to pierce through the hateful PR bollocks that has poisoned our once proud industry, Cutlack isn’t afraid to speak his mind. UK:Resistance is NGJ’s biggest opponent, recognising exactly why that despicable manifesto and set of dire articles should be erased from existence. He also hates poor old Gillen’s guts, albeit in an “oh shit, there he is, what’s he doing here, I’d better nip out the back way, oh fuck he’s seen me, I’d better go over and shake his hand and start smiling and laughing a little bit too much” kind of way.

    Cutlack loves gaming for the right reasons, and will always be there to fight the good fight against the cunts who want to sap the joy out of it. The popularity of his site is proof that he’s not alone in his beliefs.

    Congratulations Gary – you’re a “celebrity” games journalist!
    The RAM Raider salutes you.


    1. Cuntlacks lover1:24 pm

      Just a shame that his blog, UK:R, has not been funny for a long time now. :(

    2. Anonymous1:24 pm

      Yeah, hes great. What a sweetie! :)

    3. Anonymous1:27 pm

      I saw him wanking in the toilets once.

    4. Anonymous2:09 pm

      I saw Cuntlack crying and wanking in the bogs at future publishing once.

      Hay! These comments are funnier than Cuntlacks been all year.


    5. Anonymous3:14 pm

      All above comments posted by K. Gillen

    6. Anonymous4:23 pm

      K. Gillen likes little boys

    7. Anonymous4:29 pm

      So does Cuntlack. I like to dream about the two of them bumming each other.

    8. Er... Cutlack and me like little boys. We'll never sex each other, being haggard ageing hacks.

      Get with the progam.


    9. Anonymous7:58 pm

      UK:R is taking the piss out people like YOU, Daniel, you sycophantic little ponce.

    10. Anonymous9:04 pm

      Ooooh lOOK at the self important net cunt above me.

      I bet he was in denial for AGES when he was told santa didn't exist.

      "Its not true! He does exist! Wah wah wah! Im going to stamp my feet untill I get my own way! Wah wah wah!" Is what he probly said.

      UK:R is a BLOG not a website.


    11. Quarterly Poster10:23 pm

      it's a fucking website.

      it hasn't been funny since the last update.

      Dork is a Cunt.

    12. Anonymous10:54 pm

      Well the person above me is trying to get into Garys underpants. :(


      And its a blog. And it hasn't been funny since Gary started the old "Cut and Paste" press release thing.

    13. Bobby G12:32 pm

      Which "cut and pasted press releases" are those then?

      UKR has been evolving its style for years. It used to be proper Sega Saturn news, then was mostly Photoshop jobs, then wasn't updated for nearly a year, and now seems to be "daily comment".

      It's always quite good with the odd 'miss', and even the shittest updates are 100 times better than the humourless rants seen on RamRaider's "web site".

      I don't want to get into Gary's pants, but I'd probably experiment with a bit of drunken heavy petting if he asked.

    14. Anonymous2:12 pm

      It was funnier when the forum was a gay pink, and it had a letters page.

    15. Anonymous1:45 pm

      It was funnier before Gary Cocklack/Cuntlack shoved his head up his arse.