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    Wednesday, December 14, 2005

    RR Worst Review Of 2005: Gunstar Future Heroes By John Walker For Eurogamer

    Another category where we only received a smattering of nominations, voters sent in a scan of what looks like a US Xbox mag’s review of Operation Flashpoint: Elite, and a review of Quake 4 from

    The Operation Flashpoint review doesn’t read badly, and was probably submitted because the voter disagreed with the score awarded (one out of ten).

    The review is much worse though. Some guy called Craig Gilmore boldly announces that his review of Quake 4 is a format breaker comparable to concept albums, TV shows and films. A brave claim at the best of times, but he then goes on to shatter the face of games reviewing as we know it by writing a formulaic description of the game with headings like “The Concept” and “The Good” signposting what each section is about. Groundbreaking stuff.

    The winning nomination is dripping with irony purely because it’s by the biggest critic of the winner of the RR Worst Game Review of 2004 award. Check out the insight: Gunstar Future Heroes is less than an hour long! John can see through the emperor’s new clothes! The levels are (unprecedented for a GBA game) quite short! Astro Boy is hugely overrated! Well that’s Treasure well and truly put in their places.

    People in glass houses really shouldn’t throw stones.


    1. I'd like to thank my mum, my dad, and most of all, the Baby Jesus.

      I'm proud to accept my position as the worst writer in the whole of the games industry, and look forward to receiving my trophy.

      BRING ON 2006!

    2. Your first link just shows a ugly looking toad. For pointing this out to you Mr.Raider, I am now expecting the "Best blog of the year" to mysteriously go my way. Wink,wink,nudge,nudge etc.

    3. Anonymous10:02 am

      The Op Flash review came from XBM, not a US mag. And yeah, people seem pissed off because it's a low score. I think its fair enough, it's an old PC game that probably doesn't translate well to console.

      The Quake 4 review is far, far worse than Gunstar Heroes though. It's an embarrassment.

    4. We assumed the OpFlash review was from a US mag because of their spelling of agonising as agonizing.

      You're right about the Quake 4 review being worse, but we took into account that it was written by an amateur on a site nobody reads.

    5. Anonymous11:58 am

      Something not quite right here. That Operation Flashpoint:Elite link is clearly broken, so what are you two supposed to be talking about? I wouldn't like to suggest that RR is just talking to himself, BUT it does look a little suspect.

    6. Anonymous1:36 pm

      What's more drippingly ironic, John getting the award, or an amateur on a site nobody reads holding back on an award because it's to an amateur on a site nobody reads.

    7. Anonymous2:29 pm

      With hindsight, the advert-presented-as-a-review of the Xbox 360 from "Trusted Reviews" is worse. It seems to have been written by a 12 year old who's had too much Coke and Haribo.

    8. Anonymous5:26 pm

      So who is RR then?

    9. This is wonderful. This is the first time anyone, anywhere, has acknowledged my stuff (for better or worse).

      I sent you an email, RR.

    10. Good on you, Craig. Glad to see /some/ people still have a sense of humour.