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    Thursday, May 18, 2006

    Sub-Editors Are Mostly Cunts. Mostly.

    As the final in what’s become a trilogy of posts about writing, we’re going to tell you about a breed of office bacteria that we’ve let off the hook so far: sub-editors.

    Who are these mysterious, mythical beings? They’re the people who “proof-read” everything submitted by the proper writers, and check for fuck ups with spelling, grammar, fact-checking and layout editing (so the shit you’ve written fits onto the page). They might be the deputy ed, the production ed, the reviews ed, or the work experience twat, which happens often.

    In theory, they’re necessary. A glance over the blogs of many of our esteemed colleagues will give you an idea of just how necessary they are. Some writers can spell and know about the basics of punctuation as well as being able to string together long and coherent articles. Some can only manage that last part.

    The trouble with sub-eds is they’re sometimes so fucking shit, it’s embarrassing. They’re sitting there fucking around with your work that you’ve worked fucking hard on to make perfect and, with a flick of their keyboards, turn your masterpiece into a nonsensical piece of shit. And don’t get us started on the over-editing and sanitisation of everything that goes into mags these days because they don’t want to go upsetting the publishers or advertisers.

    If a word count needs to be taken down, FUCKING ASK THE AUTHOR TO DO IT. Don’t leave it to some fuckwitted arsehole who’ll blindly ruin the essence of what you wanted to say and leave behind a pathetic article that’s soulless, full of mistakes that weren’t there when you sent the piece in, and have their own gormless opinions in there, but with the author’s fucking name still beside it.



    1. Anonymous12:43 am

      True - but this isn't a problem exclusive to games mags. You don't say it is, but you almost imply it.

    2. I agree with that. Sub-eds are shit across the board, not just in games mags. In my experience, they're all as bad as each other.


    3. Anonymous11:02 am

      If work's perfect, we won't have to "fuck around" with it, will we? But you wouldn't believe how rare that is. Amazingly, most of us do know what makes for an entertaining, interesting piece of writing. Perhaps you should stop being so precious about your work.

    4. Anonymous1:07 pm

      Bet you blame your OutRun 2 review on a sub-ed, eh, Emery?

    5. If there's one thing I've learnt in my years of writing its the following:

      Never annoy the prod.


    6. Anonymous10:47 am

      You sound like YOUR 14 years old.

    7. I subbed your piece for you!

      "Fuck ups shit twat, fucking shit, fucking fucking piece of shit. FUCKING fuckwitted arsehole fucking. Cunts."

    8. It always amuses me how every time you insult people in a profession, one of them turns up and starts frothing.

      Do supermodels next! That could be interesting.

    9. Anonymous12:39 pm

      Are word counts really that hard to hit? 800 words - not 867 or 765 - 800. Word can count words for you or, if you ask posh, maybe the magazine can be extended or reduced just so you can't understand Outrun?