Twitter Updates

    follow me on Twitter

    Friday, August 31, 2007

    Not That We’re FUCKING BITTER, Or Anything….

    When MCV announced the inaugural “Games Media Awards” a few months ago, we rolled our eyes. Yet another opportunity for everyone in the industry to firmly grasp the penis of the person next to them, and wank vigorously. Then within the “Specialist Games Media (Online) category, we spotted “Non-Commercial Website or Blog”.

    We thought for as long and as hard as we possibly could, and after 29 seconds, still couldn’t think of a gaming website/blog not riddled with advertising. Bonza – a guaranteed stroll into the shortlist so we can have a bitch about the judging panel picking the most fawning website from our fellow nominees. Or so we thought, until the shortlist came out today:


    Destructoid

    An amalgamation of blogs we’ve never heard of, riddled with advertising.




    Game Over, Yeah

    Sorry, who? Zilch site traffic, an update rate slower than our own impressive record and, you guessed it, advertising.



    Idle Thumbs

    At last, one we’ve heard of. At least their updates are witty when they’re trying, and their link to Cutlack’s YouTube entry shows why even people who work in the same office as him aren’t sure who he is (“He’s the one who does UK:R? That guy over there? Are you sure?”). The Gillen-hating thing has got bandwagon written all over it, especially when they can’t spell his name properly, and most of the updates are just brief extracts from other sites. And did we mention there’s advertising…?

    Wonderland

    Regular updates, but the strongest support yet seen for the quality over quantity argument. It’s as dull as fuck, and the most compelling reason why anyone advocating the involvement of women in video gaming should be shot dead. And there’s FUCKING ADVERTISING.


    UK:Resistance

    The only blog here that needs no introduction. It manages the holy grail of being regularly updated and consistently funny, and should obviously win. But, y’know, there’s advertising and merchandise….


    We’ve got three major problems with this GMA business:

    1) Now the shortlist has been released, MCV have decided to break it to the world that “Those with the most votes automatically qualified as finalists”. Well thanks for fucking telling us now it’s too late to mention it to our handful of fucking readers. Cunts.

    2) The judging panel is made up of “industry professionals who deal with the media as part of their working lives”. Yup, PR scum. That’s going to make for an impartial set of decisions. We can’t imagine they’re going to pick, say, anyone who sucks their balls the hardest. Oh no. Wouldn’t dream of it.

    3) Non-Commercial. NON-COMMERCIAL. Commercial, as in containing advertising. ADVERTISING, WHICH EVERY FUCKING BLOG ABOVE HAS.

    MCV and Intent Media are now officially on our shit-list.

    ***

    In other news: We quite like this blog.

    ***

    In other other news: Best of luck to Jon Blyth, Darran Jones, Kieron Gillen, Gary Cutlack, Matt Cuttle, One Life Left, Retro Gamer, and all the Imagine and Uncooked mags.

    7 comments:

    1. Anonymous8:11 pm

      I fucking love you, man. You need to do more posts. I would suggest the Golden Joysticks, but they practically do all the hard work for you.

      ReplyDelete
    2. Thanks. I’ll definitely be covering the Golden ShitSticks. You’re right though, they do parody themselves. I recognised how increasingly obsolete I’m becoming a few posts ago, but I guess the industry needs someone to state the obvious from time to time before they start believing their own bullshit.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Anonymous8:44 pm

      Darren Jones? You kidding? Talentless WANKER.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Anonymous3:21 am

      Yes, the industry needs brave bastions of freedom like you! Out there speaking the truth! Railing against the man! Highlighting the hypocrisy! Ignoring your own hypocrisy! Being a tiresome cock who never accomplishes anything or highlights anything of value, but who merely contributes to a growing, easy and banal cynicism. You show 'em, Ramraider.

      You have to have served a purpose in the first place, before you can be made obsolete.

      ReplyDelete
    5. I always love it when my objectives are criticised without anything I've said or done being rebutted. And I always love how the people I criticise start crying about how it doesn't affect them.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Anonymous11:04 pm

      Well, Google AdSense and automated affiliate banners for games retailers aren't exactly notorious for dictating the editorial content of sites. They're typically just a means for webmasters to claw back a few quid for hosting. But you know this.

      A zero-tolerance interpretation of 'non-commercial' cuts down the field a bit much, when there's a lot of sites about that have some form of ads but are not a money-spinning exercise.

      That said, there's no excuse for Destructoid LLC (unambiguously commercial) or Wonderland (mindless navel-gazing piss) to be nominated for anything.

      As for the other fella's point, maybe you need to do something that invites rebuttal?

      ReplyDelete
    7. Darran Jones10:50 pm

      Darran "Talentless Wanker" Jones here.
      I can appreciate that you no doubt feel there are plenty of talented journalists who no doubt deserve to be on that list instead of me, but there's no need to resort to name calling now. Be a man and tell me who you are so I know who to give a wide berth to in the future.

      ReplyDelete