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    Sunday, September 16, 2007

    Colin McRae Hits DiRT. Again.

    Press Release

    Rally Series Takes New Direction As Licence Nosedives


    England, UK – September 16, 2007 – After the success of Colin McRae: DiRT in proving to critics that EA don’t have a monopoly on releasing the same game year after year after year after year, it was announced last night that the next game in the series is, briefly, taking to the air.

    “When we put together a media stunt, we do it in style,” said a spokesperson for Codemasters, yesterday. “After boring the living daylights out of the games industry with a journeyman racing series that isn’t fit to polish the boots of Sega Rally, taking (briefly) to the air seemed the next logical step to make.”

    “If utterly hateful shit like Stuntman can get a sequel that sells, you can count me into that deal,” added McRae, yesterday, climbing into his chopper. “Now sit back and watch me churn up the dirt track like you’ve never seen before. What? No, we don’t need that cunt Grist telling me how to fucking drive.”

    In an exciting opportunity for the baffling number of fans of the series, the title of the forthcoming IP is being left for gamers to decide. “If anyone suggests Colin McRae: Pull Up or Colin McRae: Burnin’ Rubber, I’m resigning,” said the guy who usually thinks up the subtitle. Yesterday.

    Colin McRae: Hands Off My Chopper Stick is due for release in Q2 2008 for Xbox 360 and PC, and Q4 2017 for PS3, unless Codemasters can get a refund for the time left on the licence.

    ###

    Note to Editors: RRPR is a fictional firm … blah blah blah … everything he says is a lie and in terrible taste etc etc, so stop fucking whingeing.

    “PS3” and “Xbox 360” are registered trademarks, but “Colin McRae” isn’t any more.

    Contact:
    RamRaiderBlog@gmail.com


    ###

    Hysterical RLLMUK Forum-User Special:

    10% Grief Discount

    Check out comments from our satisfied customers:

    “You sick fucker. I hope your family die so you will know how it feels.”
    Anonymous RLLMUK Forum User

    “Hope you die in a nasty car accident. And your Mum burns to death in a house fire.”
    Anonymous RLLMUK Forum User

    21 comments:

    1. Anonymous12:19 pm

      Colin McRae: Flying High

      ReplyDelete
    2. Anonymous12:50 pm

      You sick fucker. I hope your family die so you will know how it feels.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Your Dad1:10 pm

      Hope you die in a nasty car accident. And your Mum burns to death in a house fire.

      ReplyDelete
    4. gOoch1:17 pm

      Erm, Colin Mcrae's Destruction Derby?

      ReplyDelete
    5. Dude, this is pretty out of order. The guy's died in a helicopter crash with his son on board. That's a bit more serious than a lame gag about companies pushing out the same game year on year.

      Your PR stuff has been quite funny. This really isn't.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Where's the story gone? Oh well.

      Anyway, I would imagine Codemasters will have the Colin McRae team on permanent crunch time chucking together a rubbish memorial edition of the game. No doubt the Codemasters will be shitting themselves now that they're down to only two crap annual franchises in TOCA and LMA.

      ReplyDelete
    7. His son and another child look to have died in this crash too.

      The joke just gets funnier, and funnier, eh?

      ReplyDelete
    8. Let's all stop swearing and join a convent, then maybe we can all be holier than thou like john walker

      ReplyDelete
    9. Anonymous6:15 pm

      At least 87 people have died in a plane crash in Thailand.

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/6997381.stm

      Maybe you can use this as material for your next hilarious press release. Perhaps one about Microsoft Flight Simulator?

      ReplyDelete
    10. Hey Lim: Fuck off, you wretched fucktard.

      ReplyDelete
    11. Interesting to see you've pulled the original 'story' even though you're persisting with the link to the codemasters site.

      Probably a shame for you that Google have already cached the story...

      ReplyDelete
    12. On the contrary, the story's going straight back up once the influx of RLLMUK trolls have fucked off.

      People are so unendingly predictable...

      ReplyDelete
    13. But if you think it's funny, shouldn't you, as a journalist with some kind of ethics, stick with the story, and leave it on the site? Why bother taking it down and putting it up again? Particularly since anyone desperate to read the story can read the cached version via google anyway?

      Personally I think you fucked up with the story, and are trying to find a way of backing away quietly.

      Stick to videogame stuff in future and avoid the crossover to real life.

      ReplyDelete
    14. On the contrary, again, you're utterly wrong. You'll see why I've put a placeholder in the old story's patch in the fullness of time. Here's a clue: it's got something to do with how fucking incredibly stupid people like you are.

      In the meantime, wind your thick neck in and poke your nose into the business of someone you genuinely give a fuck about.

      ReplyDelete
    15. Ah, there's the spirit of robust debate. I must be stupid (sorry, incredibly fucking stupid) because I disagree with your point of view, and because I've chosen this as the first story to comment on in the year that I've been reading your blog.

      You know, I can't wait to find out how funny your follow-up story is going to be... Will I find out shortly before I delete you from my Google reader list tomorrow?

      ReplyDelete
    16. Oh no, you're not going to delete me from your Google Reader list are you? No? NO. Noooooooooooo.

      ReplyDelete
    17. Anonymous4:00 am

      Erm, Rammy, you seem to be losing it a bit here. And, to say that you're going to put your 'story' back up is ridiculous. Whatever you think about Codemasters releasing games, do you really think it merits this sort of stuff? When him and his son, and a couple of other people have died in an accident. All McRae did is sign a deal to endorse a game - don't you think this is a bit out of line?

      ReplyDelete
    18. Anonymous1:06 pm

      I'm trying to get Colin McRae working on my PS3, but it keeps crashing.

      ReplyDelete
    19. mr. egg3:32 pm

      What's the difference between Colin McRae and Freddy Mercury?

      Only two men went down on Colin McRae's chopper.

      ReplyDelete
    20. Gonuts McDie5:52 pm

      I'm of the opinion you can find a joke in most things. This is one of them.

      People, you've got a choice: If you can't cope with reading something controversial without shitting a brick,then fuck off and read something else instead.

      ReplyDelete
    21. Anonymous2:31 am

      That's a pretty, erm, 'creative' way to try to garner sympathy for being banned from an internet forum.

      ReplyDelete