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    Thursday, January 03, 2008

    RR Most Awful Cunt-Rag Of A Magazine 2007: Edge


    What won before: Official Xbox 360 Magazine

    No surprises here, as the magazine which shouts “show me the money” before they pick their cover story is thrust into the wrong sort of limelight. Their worrying bias in favour of whoever’s paid them the most / done them the most favours that month (usually Sony) aside, it’s their attempts at winning the world’s most tedious spin on an interesting subject award which really raises the hackles of you lot:

    “There should be a new category for wankiest supplement to come with a Games Mag. EDGE's recent Scandinavian Game Development supplement should win it hands down. Get it done please.”
    Cunzy11, via comments


    If that’s not sent you straight to Future’s back issues hotline to order a copy of the Scandinavian Game Development supplement (Please Note: IT REALLY DOES EXIST) with Edge, you’ve obviously got no soul (the structure of that sentence is a registered trademark of the coalition of reviewers who insist on falling back on a cliché to justify liking a game that isn’t that great).

    The “Official” mags also rated highly in terms of cuntitude, with the most scorn reserved for 2005's winner, Officially Corrupt Xbox 360 Magazine, and Official Nintendo Magazine. Here’s a reader’s thoughts on ONM:

    “For five year olds by five year olds. Sadly I think they genuinely believe that every game Nintendo makes deserves 9/10 and they also believe that everyone else is laughing with them. Cunts.”
    Anonymous Knight, via email


    The only paper-based mag not owned by Future (yes, there are still a few left) to get nominated was Play:

    “Is this still going? Then I'm nominating Play for shitrag of the year, based on whatever issue I read last (the one where Kane & Lynch and Ratchet & Clank get basically the same score). The writing's dreadful, the reportage is tedious, and the editorial stance is beautifully summed up in a column by Nick Jones moaning about how much he hates being a games journalist. If you hate games that much, they should change you out like a lightbulb.

    I'd also like to nominate Samuel Roberts for Fucking Awful Writer of the year (or whatever). A scan of his stuff (including that woeful Ratchet review) will show why, but the purest example of his incompetence has to be the Call Of Duty 4 review where he spends an entire paragraph whining that the bit where your sniper bullet's affected by the wind is unrealistic: something that three seconds of Google research would have disproved. Oh, and the fact that his fucking bitching got through the editorial filter suggests that his prod ed and editor aren't up to much, either.

    JC”
    Boy, via comments


    And finally, a short but sweet critique of the online IGN:

    “CUNTS”
    Anonymous Knight, via Facebook

    3 comments:

    1. I haven't read Edge for a while. This isn't because I think it's terrible, but rather because I am a cheapskate and so I read the Internet instead. However, I think a thread about Edge ought to include a nod to some of the very good writers who contribute to it. Oli Welsh, for example - probably not alone, but he's the only one whose work I've had identified for me - is a perceptive and fair-minded reviewer who does justice to very difficult commissions, and deserves to be praised.

      ReplyDelete
    2. keith andrew7:07 pm

      Edge still has the ability to be superb, but there's no denying that it's turned into a bit of a Sony-hype-machine, of late. A well written Sony-hype-machine, of course (I still often randomly ejaculate mid-issue), but it becomes a bit tiresome to read the same old prose, spouting crap about the PS3's limitless potential when compared to its rivals, issue after issue.

      The cover Rammy's chosen is probably outdone by E182's, too.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Anonymous6:46 pm

      inre: tomb

      Precisely how are we supposed to give credit to the good reviewers when the magazine is so wanky and cunty that they don't tell you who the fuck is writing any particular thing?

      It's dull, pretentious, unfunny, impersonal bollocks from start to finish. It's the boring grey German Saloon of gaming magazines.

      Bollocks.

      ReplyDelete