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    Monday, July 21, 2008

    3rd and 2nd Least Hideous Women: Ellie Gibson & Lisa Foster

    Ellie Gibson is a stalwart of the Unreliable Eurogamer, Europe’s premiere hub of slightly wonky games reviews. Luscious Lisa Foster is a bigwig at Intent Media, and used to edit trade rag MCV. This probably won’t do us any favours in our mission to get nominated for a GMA, but we really can’t pretend to like MCV anymore. We don’t blame the writers, it’s just their hopelessly unrealistic editorial policy. The only opinions allowed in the mag either toe the line or endlessly drone on about the plight of independent stores, whilst the last couple of weeks has seen them blindly criticising piracy just because they’re told to. And remember when Rock Band came out for £180? MCV described that as a good opportunity for raking in profit.

    Anyway, now we’re just going to have a quick whinge about movie trailers. Practically every colleague we’ve got has sounded off about how great the Max Payne movie trailer is. When we finally got round to watching it, imagine our surprise when we found that the excellent trailer that they had all watched had been replaced by a fucking terrible advert for Marky Mark Wooden Wahlberg planking his way through a plot that’s jettisoned the fantastic story of the games in favour of a rip-off of Alone In The Dark.

    We can’t be arsed to link to it here, so instead, here’s the Zero Punctuation review of Alone In The Dark. WARNING: Hit the stop button when you get five minutes in so you don’t have to sit through the shitty advertising and the clips of the other crap The Escapist is peddling in the mistaken belief that commissioning ZP wasn’t the biggest fluke in the history of accidental successes. And prepare to grimace your way through the new crappy opening and ending sequences too.

    Congratulations, Ellie Gibson & Lisa Foster – The RAM Raider salutes you!


    1. Anonymous6:35 pm

      You're spot on about ZP. The escapist - boring, boring, pretentious nonsense. ZP - funny, and accurate.

      And yeah, the new "credits" for ZP? I can picture the meeting now...

      "What can we do to MAXIFY ZP?"

      "Rock music, the kids love rock music"


    2. Who was number 1 then? Can't see it on the site...

    3. Oh, it says Suzy Wallace in MCV. Have they scooped Rammy?