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    Friday, July 25, 2008

    4th Least Hideous: Kieron Gillen

    If you woke up this morning thinking “I wonder if Gillen’s beard was a good idea”, then wonder no more. From not even making the Top 10 the last time we did this, he’s beaten down (and possibly off) the competition to fly in at number four. We’ve also now learnt that if Gillen was a game, he’d be good, but not quite excellent.

    For a point of comparison, here’s Gillen without the beard:
    And now, Things Cunts Say. Today:

    “The first rule of [something fucking tenuously linked to Fight Club] is, you do not talk about [something fucking tenuously linked to Fight Club]”

    Can’t think of anything funny or original to say? Then how about bastardising one of the wittiest lines from one of the best films of the 20th century? Because that’s not been done before in the near-fucking decade it’s been out, has it? And seeing as you’ve already shown your readership what an utter cunt you are, how about mentioning the cake is a fucking lie?

    Congratulations, Kieron Gillen – The RAM Raider salutes you!


    1. Anonymous9:28 am

      You're going to love this, Rammy.

      "What is Seven out of 10 Week?
      Join GamesRadar for a weeklong celebration of all things lazy, mediocre and "meh" in the videogame industry"

      Gamesradar US = cunts.

      Actually, Gamesradar in general fits that description.

    2. Anonymous9:42 am

      And speaking of "Seven out of 10 week", it seems that as part of it they've stolen your idea of Things Cunt Say, but made it much more shit.

    3. Anonymous11:52 am

      They've got to be sympathy or "novelty" votes. Quite often I give the buck-toothed hicks 10/10 because I'm edgy.

    4. Anonymous Knight 1&2: Yeah, I was reading through that yesterday. I thought exactly the same thing - if they're going to nick my ideas, they could at least improve on them.

    5. Anonymous2:06 pm

      Stop flattering yourself, you cunt. The only people who read this shitbox website are people who think they might be in the top 50. It's the most shameless attempt at getting return hits I've ever seen. When it's over no fucker will come here - unless you start another list, which you no doubt fucking will.

    6. Anonymous2:29 pm

      I think I hate Gamesradar US more with every word I read.

      Their "CRAP games that scraped a seven out of ten" feature (notice the difference between the name of the feature in the URL and the edited actual name of the piece) is one of the most wrong things there is.

      Their first example of a "crap game that got a seven" is Rez.

      Their second example is Carol Vorderman's Sudoku. They might be right, I haven't played it, but when referencing the Metacritic score of 7.2, they say "Worth Playing’s 9.3/10 just goes to show how a few rogue reviews can help awful games score an undeserved seven out of ten".

      Which would be all well and fine, if it wasn't for the fact that out of 18 reviews, only three of them actually gave it less than 7.


    7. sinister agent2:03 am

      Hang on... since when was a seven out of ten fucking mediocre?