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    Friday, July 11, 2008

    Joint 14th Least Hideous: John Walker & Paul Presley

    The next two journos sharing the number 14 slot are both freelancers for Future Publishing. John Walker, who busies himself with PC Gamer and RPS (did we mention we don’t like that?), has always had a whale of a time criticising us despite often behaving almost exactly like us. Paul Presley doesn’t write for RPS, but is a long-serving member of the PC Zone fraternity from when it was owned by Dennis. And was good. He also had long hair.

    And now, it’s time to reel in the Things Cunts Say list after the excellent reader contributions, and treat you to one from yours truly:

    “Here in the office, [worthless anecdote about one of the writer’s colleagues].”

    Writer sits at keyboard. Writer can’t think of anything prescient to say about the game he’s supposed to be telling you about. Writer crowbars in an anecdote about another writer on the magazine. Writer sits back and smiles smugly, satisfied that his comments will be appreciated. And they will be appreciated – by the person in the anecdote, the seven other people in the office with him, and the three readers that are so hardcore they cut out the staff photos and stick them to their bedroom walls so they don’t have to bother rolling over when they’re knocking out a sweaty half-hearted wank. To the thousands of other readers who don’t know or care who writes for the mag, the writer will be correctly considered to be an indulgent cunt.

    Congratulations, John Walker & Paul Presley – The RAM Raider salutes you!


    1. You *wish* you were like me.

    2. Anonymous10:17 am

      You know at school when you used to slag off the girls you fancied? That's like Rammy and the games industry. He actually loves everyone, and aspires to be like them, but hides it behind a thick vaseline haze of half-arsed misanthropy.

      Don't worry, Rammy. We salute *you*.