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    Sunday, July 06, 2008

    Joint 24th Least Hideous: Ben Parfitt & David McCarthy



    Just as we reach the halfway point in what already feels like the longest countdown in the history of everything ever, the two journos sat in centre stage are Ben Parfitt from Intent Media / MCV, and everyone’s favourite freelancer, David McCarthy.

    We’ve got some interesting facts about David “Taurus” McCarthy. As well as being the third and final member of the Triforce to feature in the Least Hideous list, David was widely believed (by about three people we asked) to be the most likely to come in at number one. Since featuring in the original Top 10 Least Hideous list, David has complained about the fact that we used a photograph of him that was taken shortly after he’d laid down a shit approximately 333 times. We would have used the picture of him kissing his guns this time, but we didn’t find it until it was too late. Finally, we know at least two people that would like to do him in the bum.

    And now, roll up, roll up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls (the boys can sit near us) - it’s time for the latest astonishing thrill-packed instalment of Things Cunts Say. Today, reader DX tells it like it is:

    "Gaming has never been more popular."

    Particularly cunty when opening an editorial, and usually from the pen of a journalist who's made editor after ten years of giving up his social life, his marriage, his kids, his integrity, his ability to tell the truth, his ability to tell the difference between good, bad, or cunty, his ability to get a hard-on, his means to keep his eyelids anything higher than half mast and most importantly, the means to take another career path now that he's painted himself into this filthy shit-smelling corner. But that's okay. Because games have never been more popular.

    Congratulations, Ben Parfitt & David McCarthy – The RAM Raider salutes you!

    5 comments:

    1. Gun kissing pics pls.

      You know the address.

      ReplyDelete
    2. Anonymous3:35 am

      Reader DX sounds like they're speaking from experience. After all, the list is the oldest literary device and this one strikes a little too close to home.

      Anyway, shouldn't this be 'cliches of cunts' or something? The whole point is that it's lazy writing and every one so far has been a cliche. Hardly 'what cunts say' - that'd be more like 'you can tell if someone's a poof by llokin at em' etc etc

      Maybe I'm being too pedantic. But I think the point that these writers are just reusing shit phrases in unsuitable contexts is more interesting than just going 'cunts lol'.

      Oh, and in terms of the Edge GRid thing a few posts ago, he wasn't saying the 'cars sounded crap' or whatever you paraphrased it as. It was a point about the sound balance that, to me at least, was pretty clear. Come on RR, don't be simple.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Anonymous7:35 pm

      'Reader DX' sounds about as much a cunt as you are, Rammy. Maybe you should 'pardner up' and do the blog together?

      ReplyDelete
    4. Anonymous7:36 pm

      And stop using oxford commas, you stupid twat.

      ReplyDelete
    5. Anonymous10:54 am

      I looked at this 'Things cunts say' as kind of a way of ridiculing myself. After all, aren't most posters here games journos? I for one am guilty of just about every cunty remark thus far highlighted on this blog at one stage or t'other. And, it's for this reason that I'm particularly happy to contribute from my own experience as pointed out by AK2, and also from my own collection of personally rendered cunty cliches.

      The fact of the matter is that those with a keen mind and a sardonic touch can make pretty much anything anyone ever writes sound cunty. Factor this in and the point of the exercise becomes wit for wit's sake. Which, to be honest, is a far more fun part of my day than writing reams of copy about Banjo fucking 3.

      Love

      DX (Cunt)

      ReplyDelete