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    Tuesday, July 01, 2008

    Joint 29th Least Hideous: Dominik Diamond & Jon Blyth

    The ex-GamesMaster presenter, now famous for his comedy crucifixion show, blasts away rumours that he’s got a face for radio by taking up the 29th least hideous slot. As far as we know, he’s not done anything significant to do with gaming since he wrote that fucking awful column for PC Zone that got dropped after a budget slash.

    Sharing the position is the mighty Jon Blyth, aka Log, who, as we still tell to anyone that listens, is the greatest games writer this country has.

    It troubles us that fewer people are getting the opportunity to read his work thanks to Future’s insistence on sealing PC Zone into a plastic bag so it can’t be read in WH Smith’s, not that anybody’s going to pick up a garish plastic bag and flex it for a while before thinking, “hey, I’m going to gamble on the pamphlet I can feel inside this bag being worth the extortionate amount of money being asked for it.” You could always read his stuff on the PCZ website, assuming you can put up with the stinking design or the obnoxious advertising. Or you could read his excellent blog, which includes links to the stuff he writes for The Guardian so you don’t have to do anything stupid like, for example, buying The Guardian.

    The next time someone’s droning on about how great some obscure American journalist is, say loud and proud, “NO – Log’s better than that cunt, so FUCK YOU.” Maybe don’t be so aggressive about it though. And don’t mention that we said so, or you’ll lose any chance of being taken seriously.

    And now, another reader contribution to the soaring smash hit that is Things Cunts Say. Today’s entry is by reader DX:

    "As I type this…"

    Going on, of course, to insinuate that they are engaged in some ‘cool’ activity, rather than simply staring cunt-eyed into a monitor, marvelling at the inane shit pouring from their fingers, the sole purpose of which being to convince themselves that they're not better off dead.

    Hilariously, (well, mildly amusingly, at least), “as I write this” is on page 19 of PC Gamer. We spotted that as we wrote this.

    Congratulations, Dominik Diamond & Jon Blyth – The RAM Raider salutes you!


    1. Anonymous9:14 am

      So what you're saying is, The Guardian is rubbish and your blog is better? Yes.

    2. Anonymous3:35 pm

      "War-hunnh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

      Every shitty preview of a war FPS has contained this inoccuous, arse-standard lyric over the past 20 years. Surely the true sign of a proper cunt?

    3. Anonymous5:06 pm

      oooh ooooh i've got one!

      Things cunts say: "i'm going to charge for the forum, but i'll give you some stolen internet stuff"

    4. Anonymous5:13 pm

      That's more the sign of the first time someone's ever written about a war game. The true sign of a cunt is the "War - what is it good for? Well, the developers of this game, actually!" As least people who do the vanilla lyrics don't think they're fucking clever.

    5. Anonymous9:51 am

      Why do you post these updates at precisely 12am, Rammy? Do you have OCD?

    6. Anonymous5:25 pm

      Anonymous knight 4 - Christ almighty lad, that's so spot-on. And you know what? A certain editor of a certain magazine that I might have once worked for and indeed might still be working for said that very same thing - almost word for word.