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    Thursday, July 24, 2008

    Joint 6th & 5th Least Hideous: Gary Cutlack & Ben Furfie

    Gary Cutlack is still writing UK:Resistance which dropped its link to us towards the end of last year. Not that we noticed, because nobody ever clicked on the fucking thing. UK:R’s still funny, just nowhere near as funny or consistent as it used to be. Ben Furfie works for Intent Media, and… umm…

    So anyway, Things Cunts Say. Today:

    “Games are art.”

    Here we FUCKING go. Games are things that you play and enjoy. Sometimes they can invoke other feelings, such as excitement if you’re blowing the fuck out of everything with your cock hanging out of your trousers, or screaming rage if you’re playing Alone In The Dark, or, if you’re a particular breed of “enthusiast”, arousal whenever the protagonist in the latest Final Fantasy or some hardcore “JRPG” appears on the screen looking like a half-dressed teenage androgynous boy. When you’re in the Barbican or the Science Museum at one of those games exhibitions, the only emotions evoked in relatively sane and normal people are frustration because the fucking pads don’t work, apathy because the game’s shit even if the pads do work, or bewilderment at the guy standing next to you with both hands bunched up in his pockets as he’s drawing out a hefty sweat in front of Rival Schools. So this is a long-winded way of saying that games are games that are there to be played and enjoyed or wanked over. If you think they’re art, then step up to the line and take a proud bow, because very well done – you’re a cunt.

    Congratulations, Gary Cutlack & Ben Furfie – The RAM Raider salutes you!


    1. Well, I'm going to be the first to step up to the firing line here, with a small lexical change: games *can be* art, just like they can be good or bad, entertaining or not, touching, involving, inspired, insipid, brutishly brainless, torpid or enthralling. To say otherwise is to belittle the talent and heartfelt commitment of a lot of people working in this industry – the people working to deliver something worthwhile and memorable to those who look for edification as well as entertainment in their media. It's great to run around shooting men with a massive gun and a grin on our faces, or play pretend guitar in our living rooms; that in no way has an impact upon games' ability to act as a form of expression as well as a form of entertainment. Videogames are varied – in their quality, their intentions and their execution. To ignore the potential for videogames to be artistic is to limit them.

      I've played games that I have formed an artistic appreciation for, aesthetic or idealogical; I've played games that are almost offensively vapid. I've enjoyed all of them. Calling any videogame that manages a B-move storyline and some semblance of character development, plot sophistication or stylistic visual direction 'art' is naturally inane, and something that I hate seeing done by teenagers on message boards who wouldn't know a piece of art if it was screwing their (imaginary) girlfriends – but why write off a facet of the huge, varied potential of videogames because of them? We love games, don't we?

      Anyway, Rammy, I know you're just being facetious as usual and are intentionally baiting cunts like me, and if this whole post is the next Things Cunts Say, I won't be surprised. :-P

    2. Anonymous8:09 am

      You can't even see Cutlack's face in that one, you useless cunt. People have basically been rating a jumble of pixels. Perhaps they were scoring him based on his slender, ladylike legs.

    3. Oh, Keza... Send that into The Escapist - they'll probably take it seriously. You also need to be referred to this instalment of "Things Cunts Say":

      [i]“… will make you grin.”

      Fuck off. We never, EVER, “grin” when playing games. Ever. If you “grin” when you play games, then you need professional help. If you think a game will make your readers “grin”, then you can fuck right off, because you’re a cunt.[/i]

      Anonymous Knight: The original was clearer - the pics get compressed twice before making it onto the blog.

    4. Anonymous9:43 am

      I'm reasonably confident that more people grin when they play games, than have their cock hanging out of their trousers.

    5. Anonymous11:41 am

      I've grinned whilst playing a game. Hardly an uncommon physical reaction to on-screen violence/humour.

      Here's a 'things cunts say' - 'Eye popping'.

      The amount of sub-eds who let this through in national newspapers, magazines and even TV scripts is mind-boggling.

      What an absolute fuckbag of a phrase. Whose eyes actually pop?

    6. sinister agent12:30 pm

      It's not as bad as "mind-blowing". The instant I read that in any piece, I stop reading before I'm overwhelmed by the urge to hunt down the writer and show them a far more effective way of blowing out their feeble mind.

    7. I came here and found you from UR:R

      I'm not sure if that's a good thingy though.

    8. Anonymous2:17 pm

      "Whose eyes actually pop?"
      Probably the same people whose minds boggle, you dozy cunt.

    9. sinister agent2:42 pm

      "Whose eyes actually pop?"
      Probably the same people whose minds boggle, you dozy cunt.

      They must have a hell of a time getting passports.

    10. Anonymous4:55 pm

      It's always amusing to see writers intimidated by a three letter word.

    11. sinister agent9:46 pm

      Big difference between 'intimidated' and 'bored to death of people too insecure to admit to liking something without feeling the need to pass it off as art', man.

      Games are fun. Calling David Blunkett a twat is fun. I don't feel the need to pretend games are art any more than I want to pretend calling Blunkett a twat is art, because, y'know, I like doing them, and I don't care if they're merely a meaningless form of low-brow entertainment. Let's just play games and call authoritarian blind men twats and stop trying to impress everyone by bigging up our hobbies, yeah?

    12. Anonymous3:56 pm

      It's also amusing that anyone who has the audacity to point out that they appreciated something that a developer was trying to do with a game will be pilloried by dullards for trying to 'legitimise' their hobby in the eyes of the 'mainstream', because it's only a game innit?

      Scared that the clever boys aren't letting you in on the joke, RAM?

    13. sinister agent2:06 am

      You can appreciate what a developer was trying to do without trying to pass it off as art, man. And ah, the objection was specifically to people explicitly claiming that games are art, so that doesn't really apply anyway.

    14. Shall we define what the fuck counts as art before we start arguing something is or isn't it?