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    Wednesday, July 16, 2008

    Nominate Us For A GMA

    If there was a RAM Raider Award for the “Most Corrupt Awards Ceremony of 2007”, it would have without a shadow of a doubt gone to the ludicrous Games Media Awards botched by Intent Media. Although last year’s was a ridiculous joke, a few changes have been made this time around. The most notable of these is the way the voting is going to be done – instead of being left to some faceless shills, the voting will now be done by YOU.

    If you like this site, or what it tenuously stands for, then we’d like you to send a nomination email to the GMA address. Even getting shortlisted is going to be a long shot, as another batch of faceless shills is responsible for choosing which nominations to accept and which to reject. We’ve already sent them our own nominations, but the more they receive from you, the harder we’re going to be to ignore.

    Our goal is to get all three of our regular fans to support us. If you want to make this happen, just
    click here, or manually send something like “I nominate RAM Raider for the best games website and specialist writer (online) categories” in an email to

    Here’s a one-question FAQ:

    Why should I nominate you?

    Because you like our shitty attitude. If you agree with any of the gripes we’ve got about the games industry, whether it’s the shady dealings of mags reviewing unfinished code or selling their preview space to the highest bidder, the cuntiness of PR husks, the widespread corruption tarnishing the reputation of games reviewers, or the pathetic efforts of some magazines to be taken seriously when they’re peddling GCSE philosophy as games coverage, you should make a stand by nominating us. Or, and this is a seriously long shot, you might actually like the writing on this site, and find excessive profanities and gags about kiddie fiddling to be acceptable. In which case, nominate us. It’s also the last chance you’ll have to make your views known, as we won’t be around this time next year.

    Here’s a list of recommended nominations in the GMA’s various categories for you to cut out and keep:

    Games Magazine: gamesTM or Retro Gamer

    Games Website: The RAM Raider

    Specialist Games Writer (Print): Jon Blyth

    Specialist Games Writer (Online): RAM Raider

    Games Broadcast: One Life Left

    Games Media Legend: Stuart Campbell

    [EDIT] Rising Star: Ed Zitron

    The Rest: Couldn’t give a fuck

    If you’re going to support us, feel free to drop us a line in the usual way to let us know. And don’t forget to spread the word.

    We’re relying on YOU, Anonymous Knights. Make your views known – nominate us now. Please. Thanks.

    Click here to nominate us.


    1. Anonymous1:23 am

      What about Rising Star, Rammy? Whaddaya reckon?

    2. Hmm, good question. I'll have a think on that one.

    3. Husk 27b9:14 am

      but what if you win - you wouldn't have the stones to turn up to collect the award

    4. Anonymous9:54 am

      Why do you want to be recognised by the industry-insiders that you hate so much? Surely it's like a child wanting to be molested by a filthy uncle? Wouldn't it be best to not even bother with this sham of an awards ceremony?

    5. I was going to nominate you rammy but I have only just slipped out of a coma that was induced by the Least Hideous Games Journo list, to discover that it is still fucking going and you haven't even made it to the top ten.

    6. Anonymous10:52 am

      Stop saying 'us', Rammy. This isn't a magazine, and the title of your blog refers to you as an individual. UK:R get away with it because their name suggests a collective.

      Unless you rename the blog 'The RAM Raiders', it just sounds fucking idiotic.

      (I will vote for you in this GMA thing, because the last one was, as you say, an absolute fucking sham.)

    7. At least they've made a bit of an effort this year, streamlining the awards so it is very slightly more like a competition rather than just a big Free Awards ceremony where Eurogamer ends up with a stack of five. I like the (theoretical) sentiment behind the Rising Star award.

    8. Consider yourself me. That'll probably fuck up any chance you would have had. Sorry,

    9. Yeah, what Keza said.

      Thanks, by the way, if you've nominated the blog and/or me. If you haven't, you can begin your emails with a cheery "Hello Dave!", as that's the name of the guy who's receiving them.

    10. Anonymous4:19 pm

      If you are so concerned about corruption in games journalism, why don't you ever present specific examples? What's the point of being an anonymous whistleblower if the extent of your argument is the startling revelation that games magazines are marketing tools? We can see that.

    11. Anonymous4:35 pm

      At the very least, you should present the awards, fucked up on canapes in a Ned Kelly mask.

    12. Anonymous5:56 pm

      At the very least, you should front up at the awards, fucked up on canapes in an Ed Zitron mask.

    13. Anonymous8:37 pm

      At the very least, you should fuck Ed Zitron.

    14. "If you are so concerned about corruption in games journalism, why don't you ever present specific examples? What's the point of being an anonymous whistleblower if the extent of your argument is the startling revelation that games magazines are marketing tools? We can see that."

      At the end of the day, like it or not, we all have to make some money. Obviously, RAM Raider, whoever he is, has a living to earn. He's doing something by talking about his experiences. Certainly, he could make some posts with genuine examples, but his cover would be blown quicker than it takes me to eat a Pot Noodle.

      I'd rather have one person talking vaguely about his experiences in the corrupted world of games journalism than any of the "tow the line and hope I become an editor" wankers who quietly write for the magazines of the moment, dropping cryptic hints about their troubles.

    15. Hang on... I feel like I'm being dragged into a conspiracy here. Surely, if we vote for you and you win, you need to collect the award, thus outing you to the entire industry? I reckon this is just a ploy by the industry bigwigs to get you in the open - there's a comedian (probably a rubbish one) waiting in the wings at Jongleurs with a sniper rifle. Or, at worst, a really large mallet.

      Anyway, I'll vote for you. If only because there's no chance of me winning anything after last year's Gillen raping. Gah.

    16. Anonymous10:44 am

      Seriously, gamesTM doesn't deserve that much credit.

    17. PR Husk 27b10:58 am

      ok - so this is meant to get a reaction - corrupt? Are we talking about some legitimate, social important body like, oh I don't know, a government or an entertainment media? Come on, guys and girls, we're all making a living from doing something that we love (or at least we did when we started out) - some as writers, some as PR whores/husks and some in development.
      Every job has it's highs and lows and if you don't like what you do then man up and do something else.

      As for the requests to post specific examples - that would blow his cover and Rammy is a loudmouth with no spine so that ain't gonna happen. Ever.

    18. This comment has been removed by the author.

    19. I think Rammy might finally want to be outed. Catch the 'I won't be here this time next year'? What is THAT all about?

      The GMAs would certainly be going out with a bang.

    20. sinister agent9:37 pm

      If you win, can I pick up the award for you? I have a range of comedy disguises and my own counter-snipers.