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    Monday, January 05, 2009

    The RAM Raider Special Award For Cuntitude Above & Beyond The Usual Standard Of Cuntiness Expected On A Day To Day Basis Amongst Games Industry Cunts

    The last of the RR Awards is a special category designed to recognise the delightful attitudes of those in the industry during the last three and a bit years the blog’s been running. In a half-arsed attempt at building tension, we’ll start off with the runners up:

    “Derek Smart. Derek Smart. Derek Smart.”
    Anonymous Knight, via comments

    Nothing like a blast from the past.

    “Ubisoft. Lying, cheating and arrogant SCUM.”
    Anonymous Knight, via comments

    Remember a few years back, when Ubi turned themselves around from being long-running devs of mildly disappointing games to franchise starters such as Sands Of Time? And now they’re EA reincarnate.

    “All these entries and no nominations for Bruce Everiss yet? Uncanny. Obvious cunt of the year for being part of a management team in the 1980s who blew a zillion pounds on sports cars and adverts for fuck all while the company they were supposed to be running went to the wall, then 20 years later trying to blame it on schoolkids with £19.99 twin tape deck stereos from Dixons despite actually admitting it years earlier, then going out of his way to destroy, delete or intimidate anyone who pointed out what a stupid fuckoid he was being.”
    Anonymous Knight, via comments

    Read about why he’s such a cunt on Campbell’s forum,
    or see our previous post on him. He really has no grasp of how much of a twat he is.

    “There are literally a million people eligible for this award, but it’s gotta be Mark Cale. Everyone who knows him hates him. It’s impossible to like a cunt of this magnitude. And to top off his cuntitude, he’s always trying to fuck over developers by not paying them. He very nearly went bust last year but slimed his way out of it at the last moment. And all his games are shit. Ferrari Challenge? Please. Dog shit, regardless of how many press releases you issue bigging it up. A cuntish, dreadful man.”
    Anonymous Knight, via email

    So all this must mean the winner is…

    EA. Nobody has managed to get away with as much forceful shit on the industry as they have.”
    Anonymous Knight, via email


    1. Anonymous2:40 pm

      ....But EA delivered some awesome games and if anything 2008 was the year they done good. And that other bloke was a cunt back in the 80's, now he's just a sad and deluded old fool on some website that doesn't affect anyone. Good call on Cale, though. I shudder when I remember him. We used to imagine that when we spoke to us all he could hear was the chirping of insects.

    2. You have to kind of feel bad for EA these days.

      It's like they have spent so long pushing shite covered in glitter, that they have forgotten how to make money with interesting and new games, so when they do actually do so, they go all poor.

      That, and Peter Moore throws a paddy when an online publication don't think his sports game is the best thing ever.

    3. Anonymous10:38 pm

      EA bought Bioware? What a bunch of jerks. Smart jerks.

    4. Anonymous11:30 am

      @ Anonymous 1: Everiss might have fucked up in the 80s, but it's here and now he's trying to make out he's some respected industry elder. So the more it gets about that he's actually an industry arselicking, batshit-insane hypocrite desperately trying to bury a past balls-up in the hope someone will employ him, the better.

    5. Anonymous12:49 pm

      Two lads in a game shop just before Christmas. One picked up Dead Space and said that he heard it was ace, the other said it was from EA and that it was impossible for any of their games to be anything but utter shite. Box was put down and they left. Shop lost a sale. The End.

    6. Anonymous4:19 pm

      Anonymous3, "he's trying to make out he's some respected industry elder." Wasn't that on his own web page? I mean, he can say what he wants on his own much-ignored site, but it doesn't mean anything for the industry whatsoever. Cunt he maybe, but his story is just pathetic. Did he write into MCV or something? Big whoop. Cale? Gets in on his long-standing cuntitude and the fact System 3 actually release shit games. EA did well in 2008 and even made FIFA better than Pro Evo. But, hey, easy target. They are all 'corporationy' and evil.

    7. Anonymous12:08 pm

      I see this article is 4 years old already - is there any corroborative evidence in respect to Mark Cale ? I am in court with him later this month and evidence speaks louder than smears ; ))

    8. Anonymous8:21 pm

      Had some time to waste, and thinking back to my time in the industry, and thought I would try the words 'Mark', 'Cale' and 'Cunt' in Google... and here I am!

      Cale, and his wanker of a brother, diddled me out of 5 grand back in the 80's. I actually had it all worked out how his latest sports car was going to be incinerated but, of course, never did the deed.

      IO caught his future wife giving him a 'wanker' sign as she was chatting to some friends in the kitchen while he was going upstairs. A cunt of epic proportions. We can all have red Ferrari's and gold bath taps in Harlow if we treat everyone around like pieces if shit on their shoes.

    9. Anonymous12:19 am

      Bruce Everiss, last year stooped to an all time low, by posting a link on his Twitter page, to sick jokes about the murder of Jamie Bulger.