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    Thursday, May 12, 2005

    Future looking for new mugs

    After a spell of losing staff faster than their credibility, Future are advertising for “four experienced gamers” to join their London office as trainees. Promising opportunities to work on the woeful Official Xbox Magazine and PSW, the RAM Raider was especially interested in Future’s requirements.

    - An exhaustive knowledge of videogames and a passion for playing them (well, it was only a matter of time before Future realised their writers need to actually be gamers)

    - A creative mind itching to express itself in print in an entertaining and original way (so they’re not looking for writers for Edge then)

    - A bright, outgoing personality who can get along with anyone (in other words, can bend over and take it up the arse from the PR people so they can exchange high scores for advertising)

    - A desire to learn and succeed (presumably to succeed at being a low paid skivvy that writes shit about games they’ve barely played)

    Better still is what they’re not interested in:

    - The size, shape or colour of your academic record (we’ll give them that – you’re either a decent writer or you’re shit, so well done Future)

    - Why “old games are better than new ones, actually” (so anyone that actually has experience of old games – yet again, Future fail to grasp the importance of being involved in the industry from the golden era)

    - Post-Freudian rationalisation of the Mario/Wario relationship dynamic in Super-Famicom releases ’91 to ’94 (so they’re definitely not looking for writers for Edge)

    Judging by the number of comments attached to the post, it looks like loads of naïve forumites are seriously considering applying. The RAM Raider implores you not to, for the sake of your own sanity and well being. Working at the stinking London office doing shitty menial tasks that nobody else wants for a disgustingly low wage is not what you want to do in life.

    You might love gaming, but Future only love their wallets.

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