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    Monday, October 23, 2006

    5 Reasons The BAFTA Game Awards Were Bollocks. Again.

    1 – Vernon Kay’s jokes going down like a crack about slapheads at a chemotherapy support group.

    2 – The award presenters. If it wasn’t the likes of Emma B struggling to read out “Rise And Fall: Civilations At War” as though she knew what she was doing, it was the rest of them wishing the ground would swallow them up when asked if they liked games afterwards.

    Bint: Are you a gamer?

    Jon Culshaw: Errr, yes. Well, I’ve got an Xbox, but haven’t opened it yet.

    Memo to Jon – just say “no” next time.

    3 – The features. An obnoxious shit trying to sound like Russell Brand telling gamers what they already know, and non-gamers what they couldn’t give a fuck about. And the bint arguing that gamers aren’t geeks by going to a pro-gamer tournament, where all the participants are spotty twats. Well done.

    4 – The
    judging panel.

    5 – Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter winning two awards, including game of the year.
    What the fuck?

    Why is the games industry constantly trying to justify itself by searching for the mysterious golden egg of “credibility”? Every time there’s a ludicrous shambles like this put together, it does nothing but piss off the gamers, and bore anyone else who happens to be passing.

    Just let the gamers get on with playing – the rest of the world can fuck off.


    1. the TUSKAN Raider1:12 pm

      Totally agree with all that Rammy. I fucking hate awards ceremonies WHATEVER they are for - and I really FUCKING HATE Vernon FUCKING KAYE - the utter utter utter cunt that he is - so a BAFTA for games is just about the only reason I would type in capitals so much. That's how angry they make me.
      On the other hand, GRAW is ace - but I presume they had to be talking about the 360 version, as the PS2 and xbox versions were just shoddy shoddy ports. As much as I loved GRAW 360, it was hardly Game of the Year though was it - I'd have thought Oblivion would be up for that mantle (and I never even played it).

    2. Anonymous1:00 am

      For once, Rammy has expressed a sentiment I think any right-minded gamer can wholeheartedly agree with.

      Piss off, BAFTA. We don't need your respect, we don't need your validation, and we certainly don't need your pointless fucking awards.

      We'll just sit here, like the geeks that we are, having a fucking good time playing videogames and you can get back to cobbling together tedious back-slapping awards ceremonies that revolve around industries that are too stupid (or too stuffed with egomaniacal twats) to realise how pointless 'awards ceremonies' truly are (read:film and TV).

    3. Was it ever going to be anything other than unwatchable shite though?

      TV people can't make good programmes about games - they just don't know how yet.

      The only suprise is that they bothered televising it at all - surely a ceremony that usually only gets half a page coverage in even dedicated games mags isn't exactly going to appeal to the viewing public at large?

      The only people who care are the people up for an award, and even then it only seemed like it was ludicrous PR ponces that turned up to collect them.

      If you'll be kind enough to indulge me again, I've prepared a fuller rundown of my bigger gripes with the show here.

    4. Addendum: I've just heard the Golden Joystick Awards described on the radio as being like 'the Oscars for videogammes'.

      Quite where that leaves the BAFTAs, I've no idea.