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    Monday, April 14, 2008

    Officially Corrupt “World Exclusive” GTA IV “Review” From The Officially Corrupt Xbox 360 Magazine

    If you’re sick of that embargo-busting dogshit review we posted last week of Grand Theft Auto 4, you’ll be jumping up and down with apathy at the news that a good citizen has scanned in the Officially Corrupt “World Exclusive” GTA IV “review” from the Officially Corrupt Xbox 360 Magazine. Y’know, the one they’ve been banging on about in full-page ads for the last three months.

    The game predictably receives 10/10 which, by the Officially Corrupt Xbox 360 Magazine’s standards, makes it just as good as Perfect Dark Zero. For us, the stand-out quote from the review is this:

    “Rockstar was still making the final tweaks as I played, so I can’t say whether my minor grumbles – the cover system stumbling in box-filled environments, slightly over-enthusiastic target lock-on, the occasional pop-up – will be present in the box you buy in two weeks’ time.”

    Now hang on – surely you’re not saying you reviewed unfinished code? Surely you’re not admitting that this 9-page Rockstar love-in is actually a preview, what with it not being based on finished code?

    We’re curious whether Jon Hicks (who’s a decent fellow, so we’re not giving him any shit) would have still awarded a score of 10/10 if the finished game was riddled with pop-up and had an unreliable cover and combat mechanism.

    Whilst we’re asking him, you can read the (p)review here so you don’t have to do anything silly like buying a magazine that’s not satisfied with being merely corrupt, but is no less than Officially Corrupt. Go, Team Future!

    [EDIT] Jon Hicks very politely declined to comment specifically when we asked him if he would have given the game a 10 if the unfinished code was sold in that state, and he also passed up the opportunity to settle the big question on everybody's lips: is GTA 4 better than Perfect Dark Zero? He did point out that he stands by his review, though. Thanks, Jon Hicks!






    29 comments:

    1. Anonymous8:17 pm

      Oh dear oh fucking dear.

      ReplyDelete
    2. Anonymous8:38 pm

      Reviewer: Rockstar North.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Anonymous11:00 am

      Certainly a better review than the last one, but when are mags gonna stop reviewing unfinished games? It's a fucking disgrace.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Anonymous12:13 pm

      It couldn't just be that he liked it and thought it deserved a 10, could it? Nah, because it's rubbish, isn't it? Grand Theft Auto IV is rubbish. Only CORRUPT REVIEWERS like it. Honestly, Ram Raider, you really are a silly fuck. First the ridiculous Croal post, and now this? How about instead of worrying about the 'joy being replaced by bollocks' you go and write something worthwhile or spirited about video games instead of this half-arsed, cynical, paranoid bullshit. What are YOU doing to make games journalism better? Nothing. You're probably churning out lame FIFA reviews for some pointless little magazine, destined to spend the rest of your life reciting press releases for coins. x

      ReplyDelete
    5. This reviewer is a dick. It's clearly a 9.7 out of ten.

      I can't wait for EDGE to give it 6 and then camp their own forum to see the fanboys rage.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Anonymous3:56 pm

      I plan on getting this game and I think it will be great.

      But reviewing an unfinished game? Fuck that.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Anonymous4:14 pm

      I don't think anyone is saying that GTA4 is going to be shit. Except Cunzy.

      But assuming that a developer will fix bugs and giving an unfinished game 10/10 is fucking ridiculous. Why can't they review the full game when it's fucking completed?

      ReplyDelete
    8. I don't get why games magazines insist on publishing pictures of their writers. It doesn't do anyone any favours.

      (I can say that, because I'm beautiful.)

      ReplyDelete
    9. Anonymous10:02 am

      I'm just curious about how they can be tweaking and fixing defects 2 weeks before the game is schedules to hit the shelves.

      ReplyDelete
    10. Anonymous10:07 am

      "I don't get why games magazines insist on publishing pictures of their writers."

      game reviewer: austin powers :)

      ReplyDelete
    11. Anonymous11:48 am

      they cant be

      gta4 went gold like 1month back

      so theres no way they can be doing tweaks now

      expect a patch i guess

      ReplyDelete
    12. Anonymous12:20 pm

      YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING DUMB CUNTS. THE REVIEWER SAID THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WASNT FINISHED IT WAS 10 OUT OF 10/ TAKE UR HEADS OUT OF UR ASSES. PEOPLE LOVE THE HYPE OF GTA. IF YOU DONT WANNA PLAY IT IT DONT.
      STICK TO UR FUCKIN SHITTY KIDS GAME FINAL FANTASY.
      SAD TWATS

      ReplyDelete
    13. Anonymous12:43 pm

      10/10 surely means a game without fault.
      The reviewer has listed (albeit just a few) faults, therefor a 10/10 rating should be unattainable.
      Right?

      ReplyDelete
    14. Anonymous5:13 pm

      If you want magazines to stop reviewing "unfinished games" you may as well ask them to stop reviewing any games. Believe it or not, it takes a little time to put together an issue of a magazine, edit, print, ship, etc....so magazine reviews are routinely based on pre-"gold" copies of games. They are based on copies that are 95% or more complete, where only final debugging and minor twitches are being done, so if a game comes across as a giant horse turd, it probably is. If it comes across as incredible, it probably is. Kudos to the reviewer for mentioning that some minor flaws exist and MAY be fixed by the time it ships instead of pretending they're not there. O kwa tan jin wan. Kwa on sa, la ji wan. O nee say ee wan.

      ReplyDelete
    15. Game journalism is truly in a sad state. There should really be a tool or site that has a "blacklist" of magazines and websites that produce the bullshit that we see from the likes of this magazine and IGN.

      I'm going to give IGN a 0/10.

      ReplyDelete
    16. Anonymous9:55 pm

      "10/10 surely means a game without fault.
      The reviewer has listed (albeit just a few) faults, therefor a 10/10 rating should be unattainable.
      Right?"

      Why have a rating scale where it is impossible to reach certain numbers?

      9/10 implies the game is nearly perfect but clearly a game is never really that close to being good. No games are that great, they're just games. Right?

      ReplyDelete
    17. Anonymous11:36 pm

      "I'm going to give IGN a 0/10."

      I gave your mom a 0/10 last night.

      ReplyDelete
    18. Anonymous1:00 am

      This article is retarded. You are all retarded.
      "OH SHIT HE GAVE UNFINISHED CODE A TEN OUT OF TEN! HE MUST BE TAKING BRIBES FROM ROCKSTAR LOLOLOL!"

      No, fucking morons, the game is worth a ten to him EVEN IF NOTHING IS FIXED. IF THE BUGS ARE FIXED IN THE GOLD VERSION, IT'S STILL WORTH A TEN. There's nothing corrupt about that.

      How are people so consistently stupid?

      ReplyDelete
    19. Anonymous5:14 am

      The only one who deserve to review a videogame is the gamer. I'll wait 'til I find gamers reviews and not Official Reviews. Only a person who buys and playa videogame for the fun can give an honest review based on their experience.

      ReplyDelete
    20. Anonymous6:00 am

      You guys need to all calm down, on both sides. I am sure that GTA IV won't be perfect, but it will probably be amazingly good. Just play the game if you want to, and don't if you don't want to.

      ReplyDelete
    21. Anonymous6:58 am

      Yeah, let's all be sheep and praise the gods of Rockstar and thier creedo of "if you can't do anything right, do everything half assed!"

      I want fucking Spore out already. A game worth lusting after.

      ReplyDelete
    22. Anonymous10:28 pm

      You can't give an imperfect game a perfect score. Nuff said. The game cannot attain 10/10 because every single review I have read mentions it has minor flaws. NO MATTER HOW SMALL, THEY ARE STILL FLAWS.

      9.9/10 is the maximum it should achieve unless it truly is PERFECT, which it clearly is not.

      Retarded journalists and their broken rating systems.

      ReplyDelete
    23. Anonymous7:40 am

      Well, why not? Who cares about the score of all things, I actually read his review and it was piquing enough that I will probably buy the game. Hell, it's GTA. The reason I smile whenever I see a Lincoln Continental and tell people jokes about how many hookers can fit in the trunk.

      ReplyDelete
    24. Anonymous9:59 am

      The reviewer giving the 10/10 to an unfinished game is either retarded, insane, totaly corrupt, or simply a tool.

      This isn't some zero-budget open-source attempt at GTA. It is a profesional product with a half-dozen predecessors to build on. It souldn't just be polished, it should be BLINDING in its brilliance.

      His review (preview?) of GTA4 is like a man eating a chunk of raw chicken and handfull of dry noodles and assuring you it will be "The best bowl of alfredo you've ever tasted!"

      That guy would either be a lunatic or trying to pull a scam.

      ReplyDelete
    25. "Why have a rating scale where it is impossible to reach certain numbers?"

      NO game with admitted faults as the reviewer admitted to when commenting on unfinished code, should EVER get a 10. You're glossing that point entirely. If it had faults, HOW did he get to 10?

      ReplyDelete
    26. Well,
      A)They should never of said that it was a true GTA review.

      B)Being in the industry I'm SURE he can confirm with rockstar what has been fixed and what hasn't

      C) They weren't exactly GAMEPLAY faults, they were technical faults, completely fixable, and considering he gave the game, not the code a 10/10 instead of a 9.9 (if they even have that rating) is because the GAME was 10/10 in his mind, based on everything else he said because he knew (whether or not he said it in his final piece) that yes, those faults don't exist in the final product whereby "Grand Theft Auto 4" not "Grand Theft Auto 4 Pre-Release" (which he may have reviewed, but did not title his article) received a 10/10.

      Is it so hard to think outside the box you guys assume to be the rules of engagement.

      "0/10 [to] mum" was a brilliant call by the way.

      I had another point, but it has slipped my mind.

      ReplyDelete
    27. Most the comments here are so stupid I feel I need to wash it all off.

      9.9/10 is the maximum it should achieve unless it truly is PERFECT, which it clearly is not.

      No game is ever perfect. Software code just never works that way. And the graphics can never be perfect. And everyone will react differently to controls. And there will always be glitches in these giant worlds because it is impossible to properly debug them all. So what you are saying is that no game ever deserves a 10/10. Now, that may be your opinion, but I digress. OoT may have glitches and not greatest graphics but still deserves a 10/10. Many times you have to rate games based on other games. We know what an 8 looks like, we know what a 9 looks like, and this game is better than those both so it deserves a 10.

      We’re curious whether Jon Hicks (who’s a decent fellow, so we’re not giving him any shit) would have still awarded a score of 10/10 if the finished game was riddled with pop-up and had an unreliable cover and combat mechanism.

      Based on how great the game is my guess is yes.

      This entire entry is just a bunch of morons screaming about something that is normal and perfectly fine. What a fucked up bunch of pissy girls.

      ReplyDelete
    28. Anonymous7:27 pm

      To the dumbasses who can't understand why it can't have a 10/10:

      If it had a 10/10 it would be perfect, no game will ever be perfect, if you look at PC Gamer for example, they've NEVER given a game 100% score, I think the highest ever was 98%, and only two games during their entire history has earned that score, and GTA4 doesn't deserve a score above 8.5 in my book and I'd rather play San Andreas again than this emo-friends social networking simulator.

      ReplyDelete
    29. Anonymous1:45 am

      the game is SHIT it is rubbish san andreas was better rockstar hav lost da plot saints row 2 was better then this rubbish

      ReplyDelete