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    Tuesday, December 02, 2008

    Pretentious Games Journalism (And Something About MCV)

    There’s an excellent piece that’s gone up on Robson’s site nicely explaining why mirthless cunts like N’Gai Croal can fuck off. If you’re still unclear about the difference between Old and New Games Journalism, then you’re probably one of those wilfully ignorant self-deluding cockwits who’ll tell anyone that listens that NGJ is nothing to do with the ramblings of the pseuds, because you are one and you’re too embarrassed to admit it. If you’re not a pseud but genuinely don’t know what makes good games writing, then read Robson’s summary.

    Also for today, here’s an email we received from an Anonymous Knight who’s got a thing or two to say about the way MCV chooses who gets positive coverage. Enjoy:

    Dear RAM Raider,

    Over the last few weeks I have become increasingly angry as I turn the pages of MCV and I have finally broken and can keep quiet no longer.

    The dirty dish rag of a magazine has run several pieces recently like “30 under 30” and “Industry Dream Teams”. Each one is populated by a denizen of grinning golums who believe that firstly they have some influence over the world around them and secondly that anyone cares. Do none of these children realise that it is their brands and products that are successful and not them? As brand or account manager on “Call of Singstar 09” please don't confuse (convince) yourself that you have anything to do with its creation and or popularity. Anyway that's not my gripe so I will continue after the jump.

    Why do these media sluts get to go into the magazines pages? Well, it is certainly not by virtue of their professionalism. As an example one of those so called “Fantasy Team” members (who was an average telesales executive at the time) once offered out carnal favours to anyone prepared to give her career a boot up. She now lives with her current boss.

    No, the reason they are all there is simple: Stuart. Either he likes you or your company is prepared to pay him “advertising” money. In return for a large sum of money on an annual basis Mr D will not only refrain from giving you bad press but he will ensure your employees are held up as paragons of the business world. All dressed up as the legitimate business of advertising. This is a joke as an ad in MCV must have about as much impact on your target market as a fart in hurricane. I will call it by its real name for once; protection money.

    I know for a fact that one very large publisher was having a sticky time with SD as they had stopped “advertising” a couple of years back. As a result MCV never published positive stories about them and also would go out of its way to slag them off in print and in person. Recently a marketing man was dispatched from the publisher to enquire of Stuart “how much will it cost to stop slagging us off?”. The answer, “£XXX,000 PA”. They negotiated him down to around £XXX,000 and the deal was done. This is why the company’s ads can now be seen all over MCV on a weekly basis and its employees faces regularly grin out at us whilst we go for our Friday morning dumps.

    My word that feels better.




    1. Rammy: You know something? That snappygamer guy reads a lot like you, especially on the About page, even down to re-using some of your favourite phrases.

      If it is you, you probably better do a better job at hiding your writing.


    2. Jonny2:58 pm

      My secret identity! Nooo!

    3. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that pesky Gillen...

    4. I didn't say it was you! It just reads totally like you. Someone's biting your moves, man.


    5. Anonymous9:02 pm

      "I didn't say it was you!"

      Yes you did...

    6. Anonymous9:53 pm

      Rammy, give up. You know we'd might even give you a touch more credit if you shed your moniker and revealed yourself.

    7. Anonymous10:07 pm

      I'm struggling to see what the fuss is all about. Stuart is always upfront about this way of doing business and is well known for it, is it really worth getting worked up about, Anon?

      You pay money, you get coverage. The naivety you display with these comments is embarrassing.

      It's like blaming the shark for chewing your leg off.

    8. Anonymous2:49 am

      N’Gai Croal? He's that dude who wrote about the racism inherent in Resident Evil 5 isn't he? Damn I hated that piece with such extreme vehemence. It was completely retarded, self-indulgent garbage. Sometimes it is tempting to write pieces with such off-bases theses but then I remember I have a small sliver of self respect someplace in my desk.

    9. Anonymous7:15 am

      "Stuart is always upfront about this way of doing business and is well known for it, is it really worth getting worked up about, Anon?"

      Oh, that's alright then. As long as he's upfront about it. That makes it a good thing, doesn't it? He's a beacon of pragmatism in a world of pig-thick naivity. Thank fuck for his can-do approach to corruption, or else we might all end up developing tongue-choking epilepsy brought on by extreme innocence.

      Let's not get worked up about the worst offenders. It's so predictable.

      I hope a shark chews your fucking leg off. Oh, and Lesley, fuck off.

    10. I think he is more upset that those that do not pay get a negative spin.

      Paying for coverage is one thing being having to pay to avoid abuse is quite another.

      A very sad state of affairs (if true).

    11. Anonymous11:54 am

      The fuss is that the readers of magazines and the players of games don't always know what goes on behind the scenes. Where does it say, in MCV, that editorial coverage stems from paying money? I don't think it does.

    12. Chris1:21 pm

      Funny how most of the snappygamer comments are from arsey bloggers who all link to each other's wanky blogs.

    13. Anonymous10:28 pm

      It doesn't sound like MCV is that far removed from a regular videogames mag, does it?

    14. Anonymous9:15 pm

      This is what it boils down to - MCV is full of ads for shit PS2 budget games and written by simpering cunts.

      Gillen - RAMmy is obviously Mean Yob. I mean, who else could it feasibly be ?

    15. Anonymous2:22 am

      Kieron Gillen is the Ram Raider, but it turns out that both Kieron Gillen and the Ram Raider are actually Tim Edwards.