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    Thursday, December 18, 2008

    Why Mainstream Press Shouldn’t Cover Games: A Ridiculous Statements Special

    If you follow the blog, you might have seen some Anonymous Knights commenting on a BBC “news” story allegedly about games. The piece was apparently written by Daniel Emery (us!) and Andrew Webb, although why they felt the need to share out the literal four sentences that introduce two paragraphs of straight-up quotes is a mystery.

    The quotes are from Future’s John Houlihan (we know him – he’s better than this shit) and Shiny Media’s Zara Ravinowicz (note to self: never read anything from Shiny Media, or by Zara Ravinowicz).

    If you can’t be arsed to click through, an Anonymous Knight pulled out the best quote:

    “You need to get a game that lasts more than an hour. With the credit crunch, people are going out less, so you need to get a decent bang for your buck. Platform or fighting games are good; just make sure it’s properly interactive.”

    It’s not even worth beginning to dissect all the cuntiness crammed into that paragraph because it should all be obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together what’s wrong with it. I’m choking on my own fucking rage here just reading it back again.

    Here’s the vid that goes with it, so you too can choke on your own fucking rage from the comfort of your home/office:

    In other news, let’s all laugh at the man’s funny name:

    “Dec. 16 (Bloomberg) --
    PartyGaming Plc’s founder and former director, Anurag Dikshit, pleaded guilty to illegal Internet gambling.”


    1. Anonymous6:34 am

      Gary Cutlack writes for Shiny Media... Though he's massively less funny than on his own sites.

    2. Christ! If they want to put people off gaming just show 'em this pair of wankers. Haven't been this bored watching a game since Gran Turismo.

    3. Blissett2:18 pm

      Not really proof that mainstream press shouldn't cover games - it would only help the rest of the industry if they did it properly. But it is a cracking example of what happens when you employ the "expert" who pimps themselves out the loudest rather than putting some effort into finding someone up to the job.

      My suspicion is that they ended up with these two as they were the only people working in games journalism that they could rely on not to say cunt every other sentence............

    4. Jonny3:28 pm


      Daniel, Gran Turismo is riveting.

    5. Gotta love their presentation skills.

    6. dan de la peche4:13 pm

      "properly interactive" is now my new word for "good".

    7. Anonymous12:54 pm


    8. The Quiff Is Dead10:04 pm

      In which dimension could Soul Calibur IV be described as "lots of family fun"?