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    Friday, December 19, 2008

    Yahtzee Makes A Cock Of Himself

    If you hate Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, yet always lose arguments about him being a cunt because Zero Punctuation is still just about good enough, this is the vid you’ve been waiting for. Game Damage, a pilot (we’ll take his word for that), basically consists of Croshaw and a couple of Australians sat on a sofa droning on about games with the verve and panache of a tramp bringing himself off in a shop doorway by poking his twice-smoked cigarette dog end against a discarded one-armed Barbie where its contour-free gash would be. For half an hour.

    Here’s what one of our Anonymous Knights had to say:

    “What it’s like when the punctuation is added back in. Isn’t it funny how self-awareness zips away as soon as someone gets some fans? I hate that guy.”

    If you want to watch a couple of silly arseholes laughing at Yahtzee not being funny and a red on white blood splat that’s exactly the same as the designs from the press and marketing materials for Dexter,
    click through to the website and hit play. And then hit stop again after a couple of minutes as you realise that, yes, there really is half an hour of this shit.

    11 comments:

    1. sinister agent7:34 am

      It's not hopelessly bad. They need to stop giggling at each oth... at yahtzee, and sort out the set so they're not sat awkwardly staring forwards in a row all the time (there's a reason why most shows with multiple hosts have them behind different desks or in different corners), and cut out some of the rubbish game re-enactment bits (which are always cringeworthy, in everything).

      And whatsisface needs to stop worrying about his moody deadpan reputation, because it's really not working in his favour here, and there's no reason he can't be bright and enthusiastic here and reserve the bile for ZP. Paul Merton smiles and laughs and makes positive comments all the time these days, but his biting sarcasm is just as effective. And you can bet he's loved paul merton since he was a kid.

      Pretty cringeworthy in parts, but not entirely without promise.

      ReplyDelete
    2. Anonymous9:51 am

      jup, this is really bad.
      i was very suprised to see this kind of shit from him.
      i bet some girlfriend told him to DO SOMETHING MORE.
      but not everyone is made to be infront of a camera

      ReplyDelete
    3. dan de la peche2:53 pm

      I made it to 1:52 before realising "Yahtzee" is now SO smug it's a wonder i could see him, as all light should be sucked into his carapace.

      And why are those cunts giggling like schoolgirls? How fucking professional.

      And in my humble opinion, calling a man "Yahtzee" to his face makes everyone in the room a cunt. I mean, if anyone actually called me "Dan de la peche" in real life, I'd have to cut their faces off with a housebrick. Pricks.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Anonymous3:54 pm

      God, that was terrible. It's like someone watched bits of The Day Today, thought they'd be good to use for real, then decided the best way to use them would be to water them down and blurt them out as smugly as possible.

      ReplyDelete
    5. Anonymous6:10 pm

      He can't half clear a shark in a single bound though... just watch him go!

      ReplyDelete
    6. Anonymous7:15 pm

      Loved every minute of it. But then again, I am a total cunt.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Anonymous7:37 pm

      Don't be so quick to judge. Still beats The Escapist's own live show, which is 11 minutes of the hilaaaaaarious cock Russ Pitts repeating 'THE ESCAPIST SHOW, ONLY ON THE ESCAPIST!' and sucking the cock of any developer that dangles it in his direction.

      ReplyDelete
    8. Anonymous10:58 am

      For "MY LOVE IS STRANGE AND DERANGED," read "LOL CRAZY TIMES AHEAD WITH ME AN MY FRIENDS"

      He's sucked up far too many of his Escapist pre-teen lolcomments.

      ReplyDelete
    9. Anonymous1:11 am

      This is the same man who tried to walk from his home town of Rugby to London to kill the Spice Girls with a can of deodorant, then gave up after a mile to phone his mum to pick him up. You wouldn't know he was 25 by looking at him, would you?

      ReplyDelete
    10. Anonymous10:44 pm

      This isn't that bad, you jerks! Yahtzee is all good in my book.

      ReplyDelete
    11. Eduardo Padilla8:09 pm

      Regarding Yahtzee's internet celebrity status (and what kind of desperate creature could derive some sense of power and worth out of that dubious title? I can only wonder):

      Some people love assholes. E.g.:

      -Sodomites

      -Nazis

      -Fans of Ben Yahtzee

      ReplyDelete