03 October, 2005

Future issue 130 page press release for £6

…and it’s called Xbox360 The Official Xbox Magazine.

It’s only natural that in the wake of a new console, a skipload of new magazines are going to pop up to cover its launch. It’s also natural that the world-domineering Future Publishing has secured the official Xbox360 licence.

Being on the shelves in mid-September, nearly three months before the console is out, thousands of eager readers must have snapped up the first issue to read some decent journalistic coverage of the Xbox360 and its games. After all, surely the staff of the official magazine has access to Bill’s new console?

Future’s favourite trick of hiding a dodgy issue inside a sealed box has been wheeled out, and opening it up after shelling out six quid will tell you why. A thin and miserable varnished Microsoft advertorial with a DVD full of tech movies running off a PC is rattling around inside.

A regurgitation of the spec sheets makes up some of the mag, masquerading as journalism. We lost count of how many times the proclamation “The graphics rock!” was bolted onto the end of a nonsense-sentence about the tech specs. And would it really have been too much to ask for someone to check the totally wrong page numbers in the A-Z game index?

Even the mighty Cutlack (UK:Resistance, we salute you) fails to save the coverage of the games, which is a dismal selection of rewritten press information and glossy screenshots that we’d bet our tattered careers on baring no resemblance to the final products.

Yes, citizens, again you’re being sold a lie. Despite the promise of “exclusive playtests” in the mag, and the promise “we play the best console launch lineup ever seen” on the cover, at the time of writing the magazine the staff hadn’t gone near a finished console, but were still ordered by their paymasters to get a rewritten press release out onto the shelves.
For six fucking quid.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:35 pm

    I'm intrigued by your use of the word "we".

    John W

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:47 pm

    I found your comments to be very interesting. We can never keep up with all that is going on. For example who would have ever thought Apple and Intel would be working together. On another side note, I’m one of the beta testers for a new browser. It can be found here; www.idealbrowser.com. The company is looking for others to test it out as well so download it and give them some feedback.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:26 pm

    shouldn't that be "The mighty Cocklack"?

    Or even "The mighty Cuntlack" ?

    The PSP loving poof

    ReplyDelete